Immediately I start panicking....How am I going to make it go EXACTLY the way it went 9 years ago knowing what I know now? I start going over the day from memory. I went to a crawfish boil with my roommate who knew a bunch people in the Geology department. I go say Hi to Dylan's roommate whom Ive known for awhile and meet D. He says I bumped into him on purpose, I say he followed me around until I did. He invites me to their party that night where we sit outside and talk til the sun started to come up and the rest is history. (I knew about 5 mins in that I was going to marry this guy and I was kinda pissed about it, Me? married?! Dang it! soooo not in the plan! I deliberately did not give him my number because I knew what was coming and was SO NOT ready for it)
Problem in this dream is that carefree, independent, 'Im going graduate and go sell hemp necklaces on a beach somewhere' girl is gone....and I have no idea how to act like her....OK, so she is not gone, I can dig up some pretty nonconformist energy, but I really thought I did not want anything that resembled the life I have now. How am I going to pretend I dont want kids when I want to tell him about the beautiful, amazing girls we have?? (as I type this E is signing "Lucy in the sky" and A is piping in with "Lucy in da sky with...Poo Poo... giggle" her favorite punch line these days) How do I make sure we end up back to where we are?
As the day goes on and I start to get ready (dang?! I wore this?! haha) I start to think, I dont want to be here, I dont want to go back in time...OK, granted there are definitely times I would love to relive....Two years in New Orleans? hell yeah!....and things I would definitely take back....but all in all, we are who we are and where we are because of the path we took to get there.
The dream ends the same way every time...I get to the party I see D's back... and right before he turns around I wake up....
I am in my bed, next to my husband, with my amazing kids down the hall and I have a huge smile on my face....that day went exactly how it was suppose to go....I am exactly where and who I am suppose to be
(Now if I could just learn to congure up this feeling in the middle of changing a diaper, or cleaning up puke, Id really be set)
Happy Anniversary to my Rock....Wouldn't have gotten to today any other way Baby.
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| Night we met...so not the most flattering picture, but how random that someone was running around with a camera and shot this |
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| Wedding day! 7 years ago. |
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