Know thyself....my lenten journey

"Self awareness is a very underestimated attribute. Its not until you identify your faults that you can promote your assets in a way that the former is overlooked and the later appreciated."
-Me paraphrasing my loving husband channeling Plato

D and I had a great night the other day, over a bottle of wine of course.
Life has been so busy, and I just havent been me lately (see previous post :-/).
I love our little chats like this.
Its just so real.
After months of feeling caught in a whirl wind, Ive been disappointed in myself.
Now as things are settling in and Im coming out of the moving fog, this quote has really been on my mind.

Whats funny is he said this in reference to how good Ibu was at "keeping house" and how NOT good I am at it. Never will be no matter how hard I try, for that matter. It really got me thinking, when I except these things about myself its a huge relief, I stop beating myself up on the things I am not good at...for me admitting I am not good at something is huge really (here in lies another self identification I guess)
Its the first day since we moved that I really felt happy to be where I am, and not just physical location.

I had not spent much thought on Lent, and what I was giving up.
I honestly use to think it is quite silly, (does Jesus really care if you dont drink Coke for 40 days?!) but Ihave learned that in this world of over indulgence its nice to have a little self discipline.
Lent is a journey, and no mater what I have picked to 'give up' or concentrate on during this time I have always walked away better for it. It is in fact just as D said a time for self awareness, self reflection.

So with that I have chosen to identify a fault and asset of myself everyday during lent and just self reflect on that. Not sure I plan on sharing it all with the www but sharing the reason with the friends and family I do not get to see face to face anymore is reassuring.
Its also I bit of a motivator!

Settling in....

I have something to admit.

This is a lot harder than I expected.

I mean, I knew it would be hard. When you move an average of every two years, you get use to the ups and downs and know what to expect emotionally, really. but this one has been difficult.

I underestimated the time and effort the settling would take.

seriously.

I think mostly it came from expectations. We wanted to come here, BEGGED in fact to come to indonesia. and maybe, even though that tends not to be my personality, I had some preconceived idea about what it was going to be like. I was excited about all this "time" I was going to have.

 yeah right!

let me tell you this.

Having house staff is a lot of work.

yeah, yeah, play the little violin for the sad sad girl who has someone to do the laundry and clean the house and help cook and drive you around and tend to your yard.

I know I know! it sounds awful.

but really, its difficult not to have the mindset of "never mind, Ill do it myself!" But I also struggle a lot in the beginning of not wanting to tell anyone what to do. I also carried a lot of guilt with relative salaries. We have so much, and it seems like we give so little, and that lead to some being taking advantage of, (which is a whole different post that I wont get into here)

Luckily I came to terms with somethings while we were back home over Christmas.
Im making some changes. It was tough and we made some changes but it was the right thing to do.

It might not be what I expected it to be, but it can, and will be better. I just have to
stop trying to hammer this square peg into the round hole, and enjoy the roundness in all its freakin time consuming glory!

life is such an unexpected anticipated journey!

This week according to my iPhone :)

Ainsley school updates

smilebox6

Favorite new things...Nanas

The Pineapples here are hands down one of the most amazing things i have ever eaten. They are not acidic like in American, they are sweet and a little bit tart, they taste like a white gummy bear!

The are much smaller and there would not be much flesh left to eat if you cut down past the prickles so they cut them in this amazing spiral. So pretty :)

 

 

 

Market morning

Markets are one of my most favorite things. Ever.  Its an easy trip into town, but usually my Ibu goes once a week, mostly because its easier for her and she gets better prices than "the American Lady", :).... but I wanted to try some of the sea food out of the market. Im feeling brave....

Yummy crabs. We attempted a version of chili crab.

girls

some updated snaps of the girls....hopefully (fingers and toes crossed, counting down the days) our shipment will be here soon and I can get the computer set up and post more often....

 sisters!

 

Im three months old!!!